The Third Stage of Grief: Bargaining and Regret
Grief emerges as an emotional and psychological response to loss and is typically one of the five stages defined by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In this article, we will focus on the third stage of grief, which is bargaining, and the associated feeling of regret.
What is Bargaining?
Bargaining is an emotional response experienced after a loss, where survivors often make promises to themselves or others in an attempt to reverse the loss or negate the situation. During this period, the individual begins to contemplate various alternative scenarios. For example, thoughts like "If I had spent more time, would this person still be with me?" frequently arise.
The Feeling of Regret
The feeling of regret is an individual's remorse about choices made in the past. This feeling is strongly felt during the bargaining phase. The individual reconsiders the memories shared with the lost person and imagines that a different scenario could have led to a better outcome. For example, thoughts such as "I wish I had shown more love to them" or "I wish I could have spent more time with them" are typical examples of this period.
Emotional Effects of Bargaining and the Feeling of Regret
The bargaining process typically leads to complex emotions. However, this phase allows individuals to develop coping strategies for their losses, helping them to become emotionally stronger. Experts note that this stage plays a vital role in the grief process. While the individual experiences internal conflicts not yet ready to accept the loss, they attempt to develop several emotional mechanisms.
What Should Be Done During the Bargaining Process?
- Recognizing Emotions: During this process, it is essential for individuals to clearly acknowledge their feelings. Reflecting on and writing about these emotions to find comfort can be a beneficial way to express inner feelings.
- Seeking Support: Discussing feelings with close friends or family members can help the individual feel less lonely during this process.
- Professional Support: If the grief process becomes too intense and unmanageable, consulting a professional can be helpful. Therapists can provide guidance on coping mechanisms and strategies for dealing with losses.
What Happens After the Bargaining Stage?
After the stages of bargaining and the feeling of regret, the individual may enter the depression phase. This stage is the process of facing the reality of the loss. However, it is essential that these phases are experienced naturally, and the individual should give themselves time. Overcoming these stages can take time for mental and emotional health. For some people, these phases may be a complex experience, but over time, they can step into a healthy process of acceptance.
Conclusion
Bargaining and the feeling of regret form a critical part of the grief process. This stage is an inner struggle that helps individuals confront their losses and heal emotionally. While an individual acknowledges the grief process, they are naturally inclined to transition through these stages. It should be noted that the grief process is personal and can take different forms for everyone. The key is to be gentle with ourselves during this process and to remember the necessity of seeking support.
