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Why Don't I Feel Loved? Lack of Self-Love and the Role of Therapy

  • 01 December 2025

Why Don't I Feel Loved? Lack of Self-Love and the Role of Therapy

Being loved is a fundamental need for everyone. However, from time to time, people may feel like they are not loved. This feeling may stem from a lack of self-love. Self-love means having respect for oneself and accepting oneself as they are. A lack of self-love can open the door to many psychological and emotional problems, while therapy emerges as an important tool for overcoming these issues.

What is Self-Love?

Self-love expresses the love an individual has for themselves. This is related to feeling valuable, sufficient, and acceptable. Feelings of inadequacy and lack of self-confidence are the main symptoms of self-love deficiency. Experts state that when individuals do not love themselves enough, it becomes difficult to expect love and approval from others. Self-love plays a critical role in forming and maintaining healthy relationships.

Symptoms of Lack of Self-Love

A lack of self-love can create various negative effects on individuals. Below are some of these symptoms:

  • Lack of confidence and low self-esteem
  • Seeking validation from others
  • Excessive dependency or indifference in relationships
  • Self-criticism and negative thoughts
  • Feelings of emotional emptiness and loneliness

Causes of Lack of Self-Love

The roots of lack of self-love often trace back to childhood. Traumas experienced in childhood, experiences of exclusion, or not receiving enough love and attention can negatively affect an individual's love for themselves. Family dynamics are another important factor that shapes an individual's attitude towards themselves. Research shows that individuals raised in healthy family structures have a healthier development of self-love.

The Role of Therapy

The importance of therapy in addressing issues related to lack of self-love is significant. Therapists can help individuals better understand themselves and provide techniques that will enhance their self-esteem and self-love. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), in particular, is an effective method for changing negative thought patterns and developing healthy ways of thinking.

Methods Used in Therapy

Therapists can use various methods for individuals struggling with a lack of self-love:

  1. Mindfulness and Meditation: Helps individuals recognize themselves and the emotions they feel.
  2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Techniques are developed to change negative thoughts by becoming aware of them.
  3. Emotional Expression: Encourages individuals to express their feelings in a healthy way.
  4. Understanding One's Value: Ensures that individuals develop positive feelings about themselves.

Being at Peace with Yourself

Self-love directly affects our perspective towards the outside world. Loving oneself shapes an individual's relationships and social interactions positively. During the therapy process, individuals are encouraged to develop a peaceful relationship with themselves, reinforcing the feeling of self-love. They are encouraged to understand their own needs and develop a kind and understanding approach towards themselves.

Conclusion

For individuals who feel unloved, a lack of self-love can create a significant life challenge. However, therapy provides essential support to overcome this process. Finding love and acceptance within oneself can create a profound change both individually and in social relationships. It should not be forgotten that love starts with the love we have for ourselves.