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Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Should I Forgive?

  • 27 May 2025
  • Relationship Problems
  • Clinical Psychologist Ekin Örmeci

Being cheated on—especially by someone we love—can deeply wound our inner world and break our trust. One of the most painful and lingering questions people face is: "Once a cheater, always a cheater?" But is that the case? And what does it truly mean to forgive?

First, it’s important to understand this: cheating is a single act, but behind that act may lie unresolved relationship issues, internal conflicts, personal values, and conscious choices. Just because someone cheated once doesn’t guarantee they will do it again. However, in some cases, it might be a sign of deeper problems within the person or the relationship.

In psychology, repeated behaviors are often learned habits. If someone truly acknowledges their mistake, takes responsibility, and actively works on change, rebuilding trust can be possible. However, if the same violation continues to occur, it raises serious questions about their respect for boundaries and how seriously they take the relationship.

What Does Forgiveness Mean?

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened. It means freeing yourself from the grip of anger, resentment, and pain. It’s a gift you give to yourself, not necessarily to the other person. Forgiveness involves setting boundaries, understanding your emotions, and protecting your well-being.

So, Should You Forgive?

That’s a decision only you can make, based on your unique situation, your values, and how you feel. If your partner shows genuine remorse, puts in effort to change, and is willing to repair the relationship, forgiveness and healing, with therapeutic support, can be possible.

But remember: forgiving someone doesn’t mean you must continue the relationship. Your priority should always be to protect yourself and set healthy boundaries.

In Conclusion

There’s no definite answer to whether someone who cheats once will cheat again. Every person and relationship is different. What matters most is listening to your feelings, knowing your worth, and seeking the support you need to rebuild trust—both in yourself and others.