Feeling bored in a long-term relationship is not uncommon and is a natural part of how relationships evolve. However, acknowledging the issue and actively working to reignite excitement and emotional connection can help revitalize the relationship.

1. “Hedonic Adaptation” or “Hedonic Treadmill”
   This psychological phenomenon refers to the tendency of individuals to quickly return to a baseline level of happiness after experiencing positive or negative events. In relationships, this means the initial intensity and excitement of being with someone new (often referred to as the “honeymoon phase”) can fade over time. As the relationship becomes more familiar, novelty diminishes, leading to boredom or dissatisfaction (Brickman & Campbell, 1971).
2. Decrease in Novelty
   According to the self-expansion model of relationships (Aron et al., 2000), people are drawn to new experiences and challenges in the early stages of a relationship because they offer growth and excitement. Over time, as couples fall into routine and familiarity, this sense of novelty diminishes, potentially leading to stagnation or boredom.
3. Increased Predictability
   As partners get to know each other deeply, long-term relationships tend to become more predictable. While predictability can provide a sense of security, it may also reduce novelty and contribute to boredom (Lammers et al., 2011), leading to emotional disconnection and decreased relationship satisfaction.
4. Role of Communication and Intimacy
   A lack of meaningful communication and emotional connection can worsen feelings of boredom. Couples who do not actively maintain emotional intimacy and fail to reconnect in meaningful ways may begin to feel distant, contributing to dissatisfaction (Reis & Shaver, 1988). Couples who openly discuss needs, desires, and interests are more likely to sustain long-term satisfaction and avoid stagnation.
5. External Stressors and Routine
   Life stressors like job pressure, financial concerns, or family responsibilities can drain emotional resources, leaving little energy for the relationship. This may cause one or both partners to feel overwhelmed or distracted, reducing their ability to invest in and enjoy the relationship.

What Can You Do?
To combat boredom in a long-term relationship:

• Introduce novelty by trying new activities together, traveling, or learning something new as a couple.
• Improve communication to ensure emotional needs are met and both partners feel heard and appreciated.
• Prioritize intimacy through physical affection, quality time, and mutual support.
• Set shared goals that provide a sense of growth or achievement together.